Well....the time has come. I leave tomorrow. My time in Ghana is pretty much at an end. It's so hard to believe, especially because these last couple of weeks have just flown by. March 30th has been hovering on the horizon this whole trip, as a kind of end goal; often times, knowing it signified going home is what kept me going during the tough parts. And now that it's tomorrow it feels surreal - I think a part of me won't realize I'm leaving until the plane takes off. But slowly its sinking in - especially as I've revisited so many of the places and people that have meant so much to me.
Friday I travelled to Kumasi to meet 3 of my groupmembers and to hang out, reconnect and get ourselves organized for the last part of our trip. Even though I'd seen Matt and Michelle during work placement, it was so great to see them and so great to see Rachel, who I hadn't seen since early January. In a way, being back at the same hostel where we'd parted ways, together with people I hadn't seen in so long, it was like nothing had changed - I had this eerie feeling like the past 10 weeks hadn't even happened and I had yet to go to Accra. Just like last time we were there, we were a little too excited about the tv channel that played American shows (some of the time). The Saturday movie was even Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets! Whoot! And again, it was nice to have some mindless entertainment before getting into the process of saying goodbye to everyone and dealing with the transition of coming home.
Monday we went to Nkawkaw - which felt even more like coming home than Kumasi did. Nkawkaw was where it all began. It's where we spent our first couple of weeks in Ghana (minus the couple of whirlwind days in Accra when we first got here). And it was a home base for us during the village stay, and during our first retreat. It brought back so many memories of those first couple of months and all the excitement and turmoil they'd brought. It felt like being back to 4 months ago...but it also made me realize just how far we've all come. We stayed a couple of days, visiting with the Fathers, and with Father Andy in particular, who really took us under his wing during language lessons, and into the village stay and even work placement. He's been so fantastic and has gone above and beyond to make sure we had a fantastic trip, and I'm going to miss him so much - we all will.
Wednesday the whole group met up for a short check in and then parted ways again, going back to our respective villages. I was so excited to see my host family - and they seemed pretty excited to see me! Which was really nice - because I never expected going back to the village to feel like going home. I'd had some pictures from November printed off for them, and it was really fun to look through them together - especially with my younger siblings. It was also great to be back to village food - this time I wasn't as worried about not eating enough; and my family didn't seem as worried about it either which was nice. I was a little sad that contombre isn't in season, so I didn't get any of my favourite stew :( But, I got over it, especially because now wild mushrooms are in season - I'd never had them before and they are amazing!! Most of all, it was nice to go to the village and feel comfortable right away. It took me so long to adapt to village life back in the fall; I was dealing with home sickness, and transitioning, and language and shyness and the loss of identity that comes from being totally removed from your usual surroundings. This time, I just felt more confident and comfortable in who I am; and with who I am in Ghana. This time around, I also felt a lot less pressure to learn whatever I thought I was "supposed" to be learning or being a "good" One Worlder" (whatever that is). Instead, I knew I just had to focus on being present; on enjoying my time in the village and with my family and to say goodbye. In a way, it was nice to come back and realize how different I am now than I was in November; to realize how much I've grown and changed and to make peace with my struggles in the village. It's always easier to look back on periods of growth and see the benefit than to live and struggle through it at the time. It's nice to be on this side of the process and to be able to appreciate everything I've been through - in village, travel time, work placement, all of it. I value this whole experience so much and I can honestly say that, no matter how difficult it's been I'm really, really glad that I chose to see Ghana this way.
It was tough to leave my family yesterday - I was sad to say goodbye. I was also ready to say goodbye. I'm ready to go home, even though I still have apprehension of what that will be like. An emotional rollercoaster ride, I'm sure. There will be TV shows to catch up, and movies to watch, friends to reconnect with, food to eat and lots and lots to think about. We have information that Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 1 is on the plane - so I know how I'm spending the first couple hours of the flight! It's exciting to have things to look forward to; whether Harry Potter, or seeing my family, or eating Pizza, or going back to school. And it's ok, I think, to be a little bit anxious; about how guilty I'll feel, whether people will understand my experience, or whether the whole going home experience will end up being anti-climactic. I am looking forward to 5 days of falling apart and letting myself enjoy everything I've been missing about home - regardless of whether or not it lives up to my expectations or how it makes me feel in the end. I know de-briefing will be a great way of figuring those things out and how to continue living in Canada with the perspectives and experiences I've gained in Ghana. For now, I'm going to enjoy my last 24 hours or so in Accra. The group is going out for a final dinner of wakye at the best wakye stand in Accra (according to me, Hannah, and Jennifer). So on that note, I guess I'm signing off on my last blog from Ghana. But fear not, faithful fans! I will blog again once home, because I suspect I'll have more to say and I consider coming home a huge - and hugely important - part of this program and this experience.
So, thank you all again for reading, and for supporting me during the past five and half months (!). I've really loved being able to blog and to share some of my experiences with you.
See you (I hope) in Canada!!!!
Love,
Jac
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