This week I organized and judged a debate for the AFAWI Teen Club on the topic "It is good for teenagers to be in a relationship at this age". It wasn't exactly parliament, but it was interesting to listen to their arguments and in particular to get a sense of what they consider "a relationship". I guess what struck me most is that most of the arguments had to do with things like STIs, HIV/AIDs and in particular with teen pregnancy. Now, maybe in my old age of become a bit out of the loop...but these kids are junior high - most between the ages of 12-16 so this was mildly shocking to me. Not so much that they would be thinking about sex, or considering it in their arguments, but rather that "relationship" translates into "sexual relationship". I talked about it afterward with a fellow volunteer and one of AFAWIs employees - both Ghanaian. They explained that if you have a boyfriend, even at that age, sex is expected because why would the guy spend money on you if not to get something in return. Um, hold on, what? At that age, why is he spending money on you at all? And even if he is, so what? I mean, I know we talk at home about whether or not the guy should pay, and if he does, are their expectations - I know I've watched at least one episode of sex and the city about it. It's not a new argument....but it was presented to me not so much as an issue or quesiton but just the way things are. I realize I'm basing this on a debate by junior high students and one short conversation with two young people...but what I got from the day is that the gender roles of "guy pays, girls puts out" is very strong here, both in dating and within marriage. My colleagues and I talked about how financial security for women can mean that they also have more of a voice in the household, as well as in sexual relations, which is why they were really encouraging the students not to have relationships - particularly girls: so that they don't get pregnant and lose the opportunity for education and good employment. Which I know is something that Hannah's work placement is also looking at - the importance of financial inclusion in the role of empowering women inside the home and within their relationships; a main focus being to empower women to be able to insist on condoms to prevent the spread of HIV/AIDs (which is what her work placement focuses on). Let's hammer this point home once again; in development, and in gender issues, everything is connected! Education, income, reproductive rights, roles within marriage etc. I'll mention here too that marital rape is a huge problem in Ghana...well, depending on who you ask. In the recent Domestic Violence Bill, it was not really included which was a major disappointment. It reflects the view of many Ghanaians, however, that marital rape doens't exist, because it's part of a wife's duty to always be ready and willing. Remember that wedding I went to, my second day in the village? I don't think I mentioned that the homily touched on this subject. The minister made a joke about martial rape and basically said that there would be no marital rape in this marriage beacause the bride would always be ready for sex, and would never refuse it - thus the need (?) for marital rape would never arise!. Nice huh? I know that's what I want my friends and family to hear on my own special day. It ties into those same entrenched gender roles though - man provides, woman puts out. AFAWI has done some research on the topic of marital rape and domestic violence, and are trying to figure out how to get funding for a publicity campaign on the subject, possibly through church groups (which are quite influential in Ghana).While I'm trying to resist judgment and imposition of my own cultural/gender norms on a country in which I know I'm a visitor, and to acknowledge that I'm hardly an expert.... this is one subject on which I feel very strongly that attitudes need to change. It's not just because of that class on sexual violence which made up part of my grade 10 gym credit that taught me demanding sex is sexual abuse. It's because it is one my core beliefs that a persons control over his or her sexuality is a basic human right. It is everyone's right to refuse sex, even to someone he or she is in a relationship with, or even married to. A marriage should be a partnership - give the man the right to demand sex and you are giving him control over his wife's body and totally change the dynamic of this 'partnership'. And while I can understand why AFAWI is advising teenagers not to have relationships, I feel that this accepted norm of relationship = sex is taking away young peoples' opportunities to start dating casually. In a way, it denies girls the possibility of being in a relationship in which they have the right to say no, and of both parties to be in a relationship in which they can decide together when to have sex. Anyway, like I said, I'm not expert on this issue - and I'm not advocating teenage sex or dating even I guess. It's just one more of those things that I've glimpsed, and am trying to figure out.

I've been thinking a lot too about reproductive rights in general. I have a certain amount of interest in the issue of overpopulation, and have been taught, time and time again that key factors towards reducing (or just slowing the growth of) a country's population is to educate the women, and have accessible birth control. I don't like the idea of arguing for human rights using practical concerns. But I will point out that educating women, and empowering them to control when they have sex, and how they have sex (not positions, I mean with a condom or other birth control methods) will almost guarantee a reduction in the birth rate. So besides the fact that rape isn't acceptable in any way shape or form - its also not good for development? This is the kind of cynical argument my degree taught me to formulate. Anyway, those are my thoughts on that for the day.

Only 4 more weeks here in Accra - less, actually. Hard to believe! I'm starting to panic a little bit about deciding things like where to go to school and which program to chose. I love english, and looking at the courses for postcolonial literature at Leeds makes my mouth water. But then the Global Gender program is also awesome, and would prepare me for a career in development which can really address women's issues while also helping me figure out how, as a priveleged, white, woman I can engage with these issues without becoming a modern day colonialist. And in Global Genders, I can take a couple postcol lit. classes...albeit not the coolest ones. This is why  I did a double major - too indecisive! Two overseas masters degrees might be a little extravagent though. Anyway, the point is, the future's coming. I'm not just preparing for coming home, but trying to prepare myself for all the things that come after that as well. Scary - I've been thinking about home so much these past months, and yet its becoming a reality rather than a fantasy. I love it here in Accra, but I think I'll be ready to go hom, and ready to start figuring out my life. That's the hope, anyway.

Love,
Jac